INTRODUCTION
“Connect 4”, otherwise known as “ Four in a Row” or “Four in a Line” is a game that I was very good at playing. It is a game designed for two players and the winner is the one who is the first to form a line of four of one’s own discs be it a horizontal, vertical or diagonal line.
The opponent works on preventing the formation of these lines. These lines can be likened to the relationships we are to form in life. The vertical line obviously represents our relationship with the LORD.
This is the most important relationship in our life. The question we should therefore ask is “Are you serious about your relationship with God?” Many youths in answering this question have a difficulty in answering in the affirmative because they do not see the relevance in their everyday lives. They play lip service as opposed to heart service. Life is about building relationships and that it what the horizontal line represents.
WHAT IS A RELATIONSHIP?
A relationship is defined as the manner in which two people or more are connected. My personal definition is connecting to a person you identify with. Relationships however can be on an interpersonal level, an official level, a spiritual level, an academic level and much more.
SIX KEY FACTORS IN A RELATIONSHIP
Whatever the relationship, there are key factors. A person should be able:-
1. TO CONNECT
Just like in Connect 4 there must be an effort to create a solid vertical relationship with God. Failure to build this strong relationship with God will affect every other relationship. We are to love God with all our hearts. This is the first and greatest commandment according to Matthew 22 verses 37 and 38. Obedience from fear of punishment is not relationship. Relationship involves trusting God and obeying Him.
Genesis 3 v 9 asks a question “Where art thou?” Did God not know where Adam was after he sinned? Of course he knew, he asked the question to find out if Adam knew where he was in the spiritual order of things. Adam replied that he was afraid. Adam lost his fellowship with God, his spiritual positioning, his provision and he lost the ability to maximise his opportunities. Note that fear brings a disconnection from God.
A man in fear runs from God instead of to God. The question is “As a youth, where are you?” Fear, when not properly dealt with leads to a blame game whereby we blame everyone but ourselves. Adam in Genesis 3 v 12 indirectly blamed God by blaming his wife, Eve. Relationship requires a strong connection with God, therefore do not run from Him but run to Him. Adam lost out; he had to provide for himself and had to toil and struggle to survive.
Do not shift your gaze on God so that you can do what you were originally created to do. John 15 v 4 tells us that we are to abide in the vine because as a branch we are not capable of providing for ourselves. We always need the SOURCE and that is GOD. Look to God only as the SOURCE.
People are channels but they are not the source. God is the provider; no one can take the place of God. The world of today wants our minds to be brainwashed to believe that we do not need God.
2. TO IDENTIFY
In 2 Timothy 2 v19 we find that the LORD knows those who are His. As long as we name the name of Christ we are to depart from iniquity and show forth our identification with Christ. Identification shows that we belong and in this case we belong to the family of God.
Who do you identify with? Youths have joined all sorts of contrary groups because they are looking for acceptance and to be identified. Some of these groups promise love but it is not a true love. It is not agape love, God’s kind of love that is selfless and sacrificial. One thing you should always remember is that JESUS LOVES YOU.
These are the three words I often use when preaching to people because many especially youths have been deceived that no one loves them. I have preached to people contemplating suicide and a common factor is the belief that no one cares. Well JESUS CARES. He loves you like no other.
3. TO TRUST
You cannot trust who you do not know. We must learn to trust God; it will help us to learn to be directed of Him. Do you trust God? How do you show to Him that you trust Him? The best way to show that you trust God is by being absolutely obedient not partially obedient. Proverbs 3 v 5 lets us know that we are to trust the LORD wholeheartedly and not trust in our own thinking.
4. TO KNOW
As mentioned earlier we cannot trust who we do not know. Relationships are built on knowledge. In Philippians 3 v 10, Paul lets us know that he wanted to know God on a daily basis. Despite the fact that Paul wrote two thirds of the New Testament, he had a passion to know more of God.
As a youth we must hunger and thirst after God. Matthew 5v 6 tells us that when we genuinely hunger and thirst after righteousness, we will be filled. Desire to know God; it will help your relationships with people.
5. TO RESPOND
God is the initiator of relationship. He knocks at the door of our hearts according to Revelation 3v 20. The LORD first chose us according to 1 John 4 v 19. The LORD promises us that when we come to Him, He will not cast us away. John 6 v 37 tells us this.
6. TO UNDERSTAND
To understand someone requires that we study them. In our vertical relationship with God and our horizontal relationships with our fellow men, we are to study them. Many offenses can be avoided when this is practiced. In courtship, we are to study our future partner.
In marriage, a wife must learn to please her husband and this can only be done by finding out his likes and dislikes. We must learn to be courteous when relating with people inclusive of elders. If we want to be respected then we must respect people. We must render help when necessary and be hard working.
Understand that God does not work with lazy people. He calls those who are already hard working. David was tending to the sheep, Elisha was ploughing the twelfth yoke of oxen, and Joseph was always running errands for the family. What do you understand about God’s nature?
Jeremiah 9 v 24 lets us know that God expects us to understand and know Him. Understanding men requires that we submit to men.
Ephesians 5 v 21 tells us to submit ourselves one to another in the fear of God. You cannot always have your own way. Understand your parents. They act as a “brake” in your life. Other spiritual leaders also act as “brakes” in your life. A car on a downward slip without a brake is heading for destruction.
Do not remove your “brakes”, because they have been put in your life for a reason.
